a typical day

So I'm just chilling out with Brown Eyes at my house and my phone rings. It's Blaine, I don't want to answer,  I am in the middle of a conversation, so I just silence the ringer. Fifteen minutes later, phone rings, it's him again, I silence it again. Fifteen minutes later, this happens yet again. Now I am getting annoyed. No voice mail. No text message. So what's the deal? Then I finally get this text, "You have me worried.. is everything okay? I mean is it me or are u no longer into me please say. I mean otherwise are you ok?" (Okay, great this guy is really freaking out and likes me way more than I like him, woohoo!) I wait a few minutes and I write back, "Yes, I'm okay. Phone was charging. Hanging out with my friend Brown Eyes." (it was charging) He writes back, "ok, happy you are good."
Then an hour and a half later I get a text from him that says, "Your girlfriend... :(" I wrote, "My girlfriend?" He says"idk, maybe, u are pretty and I kinda miss being with u" I said, "So that equals her being my girlfriend?" ...I don't like jealousy, I don't like drama. huge turnoffs. He is sealing his own fate.

Angel has been texting me every night. Still being very sweet. He told me that the other night when he was listening to Les Mis that it made him think of me. The next night I told him that the song Evanescense- Good Enough made me think of him. He wrote back to me and told me that, "You're sweet. But you should learn to say no to me. It's not an issue of you being good enough for me, you are much better than me. I'm not a good person... you know that." I said, " 1. I think of that song because you used to play it for me. 2. I have no problem saying no to you. 3. You are a good person honey, please don't say that."

Blaine

Days like today are difficult. I went on a first date. Blaine is so funny, he can make me laugh so hard my stomach hurts, and he is very handsome. All around good guy. Yes there are little things that don't fit 'my ideal' but they aren't complete deal breakers. So first date time after spending hours upon hours on the phone. And let me tell you, I hate talking on the phone. Hate it. It hurts my head, it makes me hoarse, the universe created text messaging, emailing, and IM-ing for a reason. Haha. But I actually really like talking to Blaine. So there is a big plus, right?!?
He invites me to his place, he is going to cook me dinner. Which I think is perfectly acceptable and quite sweet. I don't need to be taken out. Once in awhile is fine, but I like staying at home. Inevitably that kiss comes... and there isn't any chemistry. Damnit..... It's just his nerves. It's just his nerves.
We go back to talking and hanging out. He actually says, 'you make me really nervous.' I tell him, 'no need to be nervous at all.' We kiss more later still no chemistry. DAMNIT!
C'mon now, this guy is really sweet and nice. WHY?! Why can't we have chemistry?!

Lewisburg

Lewisburg is special. He was a chance meeting but I was very drawn to him. I felt like we had a connection. Kindred spirits is what I like to call it. Perhaps we knew each other in a past life. He lives across the country, and we have been close friends for a quite awhile. We talk about everything and always have from day one. Like I said there is this odd connection. He told me at one point that he felt like he was 'in love' with me. I told him that as much as I loved hearing that, but with him being in another state, it did me no good.
So we continued our friendship. He had some rough patches and we got much closer.
I very much adore him and think that he is a wonderful man. Nevertheless, he is a man who does not live anywhere near me.  Supposedly he is wants to move and be here with me at some point. My theory is, show me, don't tell me.

Angel

Yes, we will call him Angel. He has been my angel in so many ways. Saved me for a few bad situations. Cheered me up, kept me from being lonely, was my best friend for so very long, and my lover. I met Angel a few years ago off of a dating site as well. We went on a date not too long after we started talking and we had a blast together. After that we were kind of inseparable. I spent an enormous amount of time hanging out on his patio with him or curled up on his couch. A lot of times we would be listening to music in the living room singing and dancing together. We were never exclusive, and with time I realized he was dating other women. It hurt, and I spent a little bit of time away from him. I then realized I didn't want to loose what we did have. We talked about it, everything was fine. (although my heart still hurt a bit, c'mon I'm a girl, and I have feelings.)
Angel started drinking heavily, and some heavy stresses started happening in my life. He said the wrong thing at the wrong time and I told him until he was ready to apologize we weren't talking. He is a very stubborn, pigheaded man, who is ALWAYS right. I mean ALWAYS. So, he let me walk away. We didn't speak for 10 months... I missed him horribly. The friendship was a really big deal, he was my confidant. I knew that I could always go to him with anything. Even if he wouldn't agree with me.
So we have gotten to be friends again. My little family and his little family even spent Christmas Eve together. Very casually, of course.
(This should be said...I am very open with the people in my life. If I love you I tell you. I am an honest person. If you don't say it back I don't care, that doesn't hurt me. At least you know that I love you. I don't smother people with it. But I tell my friends that I love them occasionally. Just the way it is. So occasionally I have told Angel that I love him. Eh, whatever.)
So we are talking through text this week and Angel says 'I love you so much I just can't stand it."
Now I just played it off, because I did't want to deal with it. But he told me he loved me two other times this week and told me he missed me almost every single night. He has also asked me 'why he can't get me out of his head?'

I don't get it. Angel has changed his tune? Time will tell.

Scrotum Lord

Scrotum Lord, nope I didn't give him that nickname. Someone else did, but we are going to go with it. Who am I to argue with the obvious truth. So I met this one through mutual friends. We have the same birthday, we have A LOT of mutual friends. We went to high school in the same general area, around the same time. So one day I received a message from him on Facebook. It was innocent enough at first. Then he started flirting with me. Not long after I found out that he had an 'on again/off again relationship with a woman, but from what everyone said he was very, very hung up on her. I don't mess around with things like that it just seems like a recipe for disaster.
About a month passed and I heard from him again. We messaged back and forth and he really wanted to get together. I asked him about this woman. He said that it was an 'open relationship' and that they had no commitment to each other what so ever. Now I was a part of a group that they were both in, and it was pretty apparent at this point that he was telling the truth.
Now let's go forward with the understanding that Scrotum Lord and I were getting together on a purely sexual encounter and nothing more. I really wanted nothing more from him. (C'mon everyone needs some once in awhile, right?) I'm an adult, having a purely sexual friendship while you are single can be very beneficial. Keeps you from wanting to rip everyone's head off, and it saves on batteries. LOL.
So we got together...... and I'm so glad he had a good time. Did I mention that I'm so glad he had a good time? Listen I don't lie to men, but I am always nice because there is no sense in killing their ego. No one needs that.
Then I became friends with his woman. We will call her Brown-eyes, because she has the most lovely light brown eyes. We made plans to get together and then she had something happen and she had to go away for awhile. When she came back Scrotum Lord decided to tell her that he didn't want to see her anymore. Well I told her to come spend time with me. Her heart was broken and I can't stand to see anyone hurt.
Long story - short, he had lied to her. It was horrible.
A few days later Scrotum Lord is on Facebook asking for boxes because he is moving. I tell him that I have boxes and I might be able to bring him some later next week. Maybe. (I'm just trying to be nice, he doesn't own a car) He says, "I'll look forward to it." I said, "you are going to look forward to me bringing you empty boxes? weirdo" he says, "and you.." I said, "why me? I'm just a pain in the ass bitch." He said, "yeah but your pussy tastes good and you liked my cock." I said, "what does that have to do with moving boxes." He said, " not a damn thing." I said, "oh okay. that's what I thought." Then he says, "and I would like to hook up again." I said, "we'll see. I'm dating someone."
Now that is not a lie. I am dating someone. Is it serious? No. Does Scrotum Lord need to know that? No.

Please note earlier in the conversation I also bitched him out for hurting Brown-eyes. He knew I wasn't happy and he still went on with what he said. Not a smart man.

Let's start with my most recent encounter. We will call him Army-guy. Now I met Army-guy back in September. We met on a dating site, we went out a few times. We did 'the naughty' a few times, then he made a dickhead move. One night he said to me, "I think it would be really fun if you had sex with me and my friend." Now my profile on the dating site is really clear as to what I am looking for. Really, really clear. I looked at him and said, "really?" Then I walked away, that was it.
Now fast forward, suddenly I hear from this guy again. The first thing he writes to me is. "I'm so so sorry, I really fucked up." So me being the person that I am says, "Everyone makes mistakes, it's okay." He says, "Can we talk on the phone and catch up?" I said, "sure." So we talked on the phone for awhile, caught up a bit. Supposedly he had just got back from a few months in the army. Now he was done with his time and out. According to him I had crossed his mind quite a few times. He really, really wanted to spend time with me. .......Exact words "I want to treat you like a queen. I want to do anything to make you happy." ... Now honestly that is what every woman would like to hear. But a lot of us women hear alarms when a guy says that. Why, because men are dicks. Now I'm not a stupid woman, and I am questioning this guy's motives. A lot of my responses are, 'uh huh', 'okay', 'we'll see'. Why? Because I don't entirely believe him. So two days later he calls me and says, 'I really want to come over and spend time with you. Watch a movie, whatever.' I say 'okay.' He comes over, we laugh, we talk, we ended up doing 'the naughty.' We cuddle, he leaves.

I wake up today to a message from a number I don't know saying "Did you fuck Army-guy last night?" I said, "who the hell is this?" The number says, "his fiance" BUM BUM BUM. I say, "I'm sorry, yes I did. I didn't know he had a girlfriend, let alone a fiance." Then the text messages continue throughout the day from her. Now I'm not angry with her, why would I be? I've been her. Poor, poor girl. She wasn't mad at me either. In fact I feel bad for her. She has told me she is stuck for another 6 months in a lease with him and she is horribly in debt because of his bullshit. I told her to run as fast as she can before it gets worse. No one deserves that, I don't care what his side of the story is, asshole.

My Love Life is a Soap Opera

My Love Life is a Soap Opera..... Really, I have been saying since I was a teenager that one of the major networks should be following my life and writing a script based on it. Seriously, this is better than the crap they have on tv.
So here I go...no real names for anyone, only nicknames. We must protect the somewhat innocent. But someone has to hear this crazy bullshit, or at least I need to document it so that one day when my memory is completely gone I will at least have this.

**Watch out this could get dicey**


And I warn you now, if you are reading this, you take the risk of being offended. I say what I want, and I'm my own person. You don't have to like it, and you don't have to read this.